Non-Fictional Statements

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01 National security reports indicate that there is a strong correlation between the presence of YARDiES and winning the war on terrorism.
02 Any social gathering during the day without YARDiES is considered a funeral.
03 In a double-blind study, researchers discovered that having YARDiES at any social gathering increases the likely hood of an F16 flyover.
04 YARDiES is to your backyard as Velvet Jumpsuits are to your wardrobe (AWESOME).
05 YARDiES LLC has no "official" affiliation with the Jamaican gang...
06 YARDiES LLC is a branch of NASA.
07 The UV index increases by a full 3 points when you bring YARDiES products to the beach. It’s science.
08 Whenever the sun is out and your YARDiES products aren’t in use, a Victoria’s Secret model loses her wings.
09 0% of YARDiES Products are made out of recycled material…We’re pretty normal there.
10 PÔLiSH bottles aren’t great for bar fights.
11 The only difference between owning a Polish Horseshoes set and a yacht is that a yacht doesn’t impress as many people.
12 There is strong medical evidence that possessing a YARDiES product increases the libido of bystanders
13 In the case of 2 month old Jimmy, YARDiES is probably the father.
14 The grass is always greener where YARDiES is.
15 Tailgaiting without YARDiES is called trespassing.
16 The FDA prohibits the selling of a six pack of YARDiES Bottles.
17 U2 Formally changed the name of their song “I still haven’t found what I’m looking for” to “Found it” after playing YARDiES Polish Horseshoes.
18 YARDiES yard games during the winter holidays generate more action than mistletoe and diamond necklace presents combined.
19 The only thing more sad than a Sarah McLachlan SPCA commercial is a tailgate without YARDiES.
20 YARDiES; Safer than drinks with Bill Cosby.

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